How to Save a Life

And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life.

I never knew how much a part of me he was until he was gone. I wished that I could have been there with him, held his hand, let him know how much Goombie loved him.

He always apologized for calling me that as I grew older. He said he knew I was all grown up but that it was just a habit that had carried through the years. I wish I would have told him how much joy it brought me to hear him call me that. There wasn't a sweeter sound to my ears. When he called me that, I felt so loved, I felt important.


He was a man that all men should revere. He was simple, he was quiet. But his actions spoke volumes. He would just sit on his front lawn, watching us play, not saying much, but yet we all knew how much he loved and cared for all of us. As I transitioned into a new phase of my life, from his hospital bed he spoke one sentence, in his gruff little voice, that allowed me to feel more loved by him than any other action or long speech could have conveyed. His simpleness and his quiet way was so powerful. I know he is happy now, and in a better place than this, but I miss him. I cant think of him in any capacity without tears flooding my eyes. He is that kind of man. Mourning for this man will never end for anyone who knew him at all.

On the day that we gathered to mourn his loss, we as his grandchildren didn't know what to do, so we sang. Driving down the highway to the place where he would lay to rest, all stricken with the same grief, we sang. We would have stayed up with him all night, had we known how to save a life. The words rang true in all our hearts. Not one of us would have rather been anywhere else in the world, but at his side. I would give anything to have him here with us, to see us grow and progress in life.

But then the next song came on, and I think we all resignated with the feelings of peace the song conveyed. If I don't say this now I will surely break. My heart has started to separate. Oh Oh Oh, I'll look after you. He was with us. He was looking after us just as he always did from the lawn chair on his front lawn, but this time it was a heavenly seat.

We love him, and we will always love him. He is not here with us but his memory lives on. As small and simple as he was, he will never be forgotten. Ever.

I would have stayed up with you all night.
Had I known how to save a life.

Faith

Faith is knowing that something exists without actually seeing it. I have always believed in the principle of faith, but I don't know that I have ever fully understood it. A lot of times in life I think we have a map that we follow. We think that as soon as we get to a certain place in our life, that things will just fall into place and that we are entitled to these things just because we had faith that they would happen. I think everyone sees the natural progression that they would like their life to take, like going to college, getting married, having kids...the whole bit. When these things do not happen or do not have the right timing, I think we start to question that faith. We believed in these things for so long, we couldn't see them but we still knew that they would happen. There is a big principle that we miss when we have this mindset. We miss the principle of action. We always hear the saying, "Faith without works is dead", but do we really understand and practice it? Faith is a two-fold principle. We need to believe and we need to act on those beliefs.

All of the things we want in life, all of the things we have faith in, are out there. They are out there just waiting for us to stop waiting.

Reason and Passion

"Your Reason and your passion are the rudder and sails of your seafaring soul. If either be broken, you can but toss and drift or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas. For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining. And passion, unattended is a flame that burns to its own destruction."
--Kahlil Gibran

In life, often we are presented with situations where our minds see one thing and our hearts feel something completely different. What is in our heart, is something that we know would bring us happiness, but it is our minds, our reason if you will, that justifies not going after these things. Our reason tells us that there is too much to lose. Our reason tells us that it is not worth it. So, too often we just sit. We sit confined in our reason, our heart still yearning for its one true desire. Those who break loose of reason may find freedom in so doing, but this world is a world unknown. Our desires may, as written, burn their own destruction.

We must find a healthy dichotomy between our reason and our passion. For if we follow the one, we will ultimately live in world where we are imprisoned by our own hesitations; and if we follow the other we will live in a world full of peril. However, if we allow our passions and our desires guide us to the things we want most, and allow our reason to check in-- keep us from making a grave mistake-- we will have arrived.