How to Save a Life

And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life.

I never knew how much a part of me he was until he was gone. I wished that I could have been there with him, held his hand, let him know how much Goombie loved him.

He always apologized for calling me that as I grew older. He said he knew I was all grown up but that it was just a habit that had carried through the years. I wish I would have told him how much joy it brought me to hear him call me that. There wasn't a sweeter sound to my ears. When he called me that, I felt so loved, I felt important.


He was a man that all men should revere. He was simple, he was quiet. But his actions spoke volumes. He would just sit on his front lawn, watching us play, not saying much, but yet we all knew how much he loved and cared for all of us. As I transitioned into a new phase of my life, from his hospital bed he spoke one sentence, in his gruff little voice, that allowed me to feel more loved by him than any other action or long speech could have conveyed. His simpleness and his quiet way was so powerful. I know he is happy now, and in a better place than this, but I miss him. I cant think of him in any capacity without tears flooding my eyes. He is that kind of man. Mourning for this man will never end for anyone who knew him at all.

On the day that we gathered to mourn his loss, we as his grandchildren didn't know what to do, so we sang. Driving down the highway to the place where he would lay to rest, all stricken with the same grief, we sang. We would have stayed up with him all night, had we known how to save a life. The words rang true in all our hearts. Not one of us would have rather been anywhere else in the world, but at his side. I would give anything to have him here with us, to see us grow and progress in life.

But then the next song came on, and I think we all resignated with the feelings of peace the song conveyed. If I don't say this now I will surely break. My heart has started to separate. Oh Oh Oh, I'll look after you. He was with us. He was looking after us just as he always did from the lawn chair on his front lawn, but this time it was a heavenly seat.

We love him, and we will always love him. He is not here with us but his memory lives on. As small and simple as he was, he will never be forgotten. Ever.

I would have stayed up with you all night.
Had I known how to save a life.

Faith

Faith is knowing that something exists without actually seeing it. I have always believed in the principle of faith, but I don't know that I have ever fully understood it. A lot of times in life I think we have a map that we follow. We think that as soon as we get to a certain place in our life, that things will just fall into place and that we are entitled to these things just because we had faith that they would happen. I think everyone sees the natural progression that they would like their life to take, like going to college, getting married, having kids...the whole bit. When these things do not happen or do not have the right timing, I think we start to question that faith. We believed in these things for so long, we couldn't see them but we still knew that they would happen. There is a big principle that we miss when we have this mindset. We miss the principle of action. We always hear the saying, "Faith without works is dead", but do we really understand and practice it? Faith is a two-fold principle. We need to believe and we need to act on those beliefs.

All of the things we want in life, all of the things we have faith in, are out there. They are out there just waiting for us to stop waiting.

Reason and Passion

"Your Reason and your passion are the rudder and sails of your seafaring soul. If either be broken, you can but toss and drift or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas. For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining. And passion, unattended is a flame that burns to its own destruction."
--Kahlil Gibran

In life, often we are presented with situations where our minds see one thing and our hearts feel something completely different. What is in our heart, is something that we know would bring us happiness, but it is our minds, our reason if you will, that justifies not going after these things. Our reason tells us that there is too much to lose. Our reason tells us that it is not worth it. So, too often we just sit. We sit confined in our reason, our heart still yearning for its one true desire. Those who break loose of reason may find freedom in so doing, but this world is a world unknown. Our desires may, as written, burn their own destruction.

We must find a healthy dichotomy between our reason and our passion. For if we follow the one, we will ultimately live in world where we are imprisoned by our own hesitations; and if we follow the other we will live in a world full of peril. However, if we allow our passions and our desires guide us to the things we want most, and allow our reason to check in-- keep us from making a grave mistake-- we will have arrived.

Coincidence?

Have you ever pondered the idea of coincidences? Do people just happen to show up in the same place at the same time? Do you just happen to hear exactly what you need to hear when you need to hear it? Or is there no such thing as a coincidence? If this is the case then everything happens for a reason. No person comes into your life, no word is spoken, that in some way or another was meant for you.

These experiences can be so powerful when you recognize them for what they are. Isn't it so comforting to know that people are in your life for a reason? Every person we associate with will affect us in some way. I believe that there is no such thing as a coincidence. Coincidences imply that events are completely random, with no power behind them whatsoever.

I think David Bednar said it best when he related this story in General Conference:

Some time ago I spoke with a priesthood leader who was prompted to memorize the names of all of the youth ages 13 to 21 in his stake. Using snapshots of the young men and women, he created flash cards that he reviewed while traveling on business and at other times. This priesthood leader quickly learned all of the names of the youth.

One night the priesthood leader had a dream about one of the young men whom he knew only from a picture. In the dream he saw the young man dressed in a white shirt and wearing a missionary name tag. With a companion seated at his side, the young man was teaching a family. The young man held the Book of Mormon in his hand, and he looked as if he were testifying of the truthfulness of the book. The priesthood leader then awoke from his dream.

At an ensuing priesthood gathering, the leader approached the young man he had seen in his dream and asked to talk with him for a few minutes. After a brief introduction, the leader called the young man by name and said: “I am not a dreamer. I have never had a dream about a single member of this stake, except for you. I am going to tell you about my dream, and then I would like you to help me understand what it means.”

The priesthood leader recounted the dream and asked the young man about its meaning. Choking with emotion, the young man simply replied, “It means God knows who I am.” The remainder of the conversation between this young man and his priesthood leader was most meaningful, and they agreed to meet and counsel together from time to time during the following months.

That young man received the Lord’s tender mercies through an inspired priesthood leader. I repeat again, the Lord’s tender mercies do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Faithfulness and obedience enable us to receive these important gifts and, frequently, the Lord’s timing helps us to recognize them.

We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance.

God knows each of us by name. He knows our struggles and our weaknesses. He knows when we have simply had enough, and it is in these moments that he speaks to us through his tender mercies. The "coincidences" in our lives do not happen by chance, they happen because a loving father wants them to happen. So next time you hear someone say something that seems to fit too perfectly, don't just credit it to chance, credit your Father in heaven, for it is him who gave you that moment of wonder and peace.

The Calm Before The Storm

My favorite times are the calms before the storms. The weather is so perfect. The sky is always so clear and there is not a cloud to be seen. The air is so crisp and there is a light breeze. It is perfect.



A sense of clarity accompanies it. However, I find these nights to be bittersweet. In these calm, pristine moments, it is hard to ignore the storm that you know will inevitably come.

The same idea carries over in life. When things in life are going really good and you begin to get comfortable and everything seems like it is so clear--it is bound to change. A "storm" will come. There really is no avoiding it. Sometimes these storms seem like they are too much to bear, but as we go through life enduring them, we get stronger. We dig deeper roots. A tree's roots do not grow unless they are forced to cling on. Storms are what make trees stronger.




We too become stronger by going through the trials and adversities in our lives. With every hardship we discover just how far we can push ourselves and just how much we can handle. We learn lessons about our strengths and more importantly our limitations.

The calm before the storm is a wonderful time and should be enjoyed, but it should not be forgotten that the greatest benefits come from enduring the storms.

Deja Vu

What is Deja Vu? Is it, like some scientists say, simply a mismatching in the brain that causes the brain to mistake the present for the past? Or are you willing to look beyond the science, and delve into a far more creative and intriguing theory-- my theory.

I was thinking about all the times that I have had deja vu, and I realized that all of the experiences had one thing in common-- they were all completely insignificant. There was nothing special about any of the moments, and they were far from life-changing.

I have decided that there are two types of deja-vu:

1. This feeling of deja vu is like a flash of lightning, so fast that if you blink you might miss that feeling of familiarity. Often times this type of deja vu has very little details and it really only consists of the feeling of being in that place or situation before.

2. This feeling of deja vu lasts a lot longer. I am able to notice all of the details--who is there, what I am doing, wearing, saying etc... Sometimes this deja vu lasts long enough where I get to a point where I don't necessarily know what is going to happen next, but I am not in the least bit surprised at what does happen.

So what does all of this mean? Looking at it from a non-scientific perspective, this is what I have come up with.

I think that deja vu, along with some of our dreams (I have found that sometimes my deja vu moments feel like they have been in my dreams), is a way for God to communicate with us. Maybe its just wishful thinking, but I have decided to believe that Deja Vu is a little pat on the back; it is God letting us know that we are in the right place at the right time. If you think about it, when the deja vu is something so meaningless, why do we have it? Isn't it comforting to think that maybe we have it so that we know we are not off the beaten path? Even if my "theory" is completely bogus, which to be frank it probably is, wouldn't it be nice to simply choose to believe it? I would rather believe that deja vu is a confirmation that I am where I am supposed to be than believe that my brain is just getting confused. I choose to believe in the more intriguing story instead of the one that is plausible. But that may just be me......